superlative comedy
My favorite thing about living in Baltimore is that weird things happen, constantly.
I moved into a sunny 1 bedroom in Mount Vernon, and quickly discovered that I live nextdoor to a vampire. He’s an 18 year-old with prosthetic fangs, his middle teeth removed, slit-eyed contacts, glasses on top of that, corn-rows and a long leather jacket. I introduced myself in the elevator.
K: Hi, I’m Kiira. I live nextdoor. I know your brother Sam.
V: Hey, I’m Brian, but you can call me FANG or LEACH. But not in front of my brother.
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Surely his brother has already noticed that he’s a vampire.
I was very interested to see what he would do on Halloween. Would he dress as a normal person? Would he feed that night?
Turns out he didn’t really do anything different. It was disappointing.
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I also think the he’s the one who tagged the elevator. Does this smiley face have fangs? Yes it does.
Just noticed that his wireless network is called “BloodyTears.” Amazing. I love this town.
